a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Walk of Shame today included voting.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
