Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
