My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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