My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
