Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Randomize
