Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
