ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
