Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
