Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I queefed so loud it echoed.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
