Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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