it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
