Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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