you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
