he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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