Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
My pussy is not your playground.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Randomize
