So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
he was CRYING into my vagina
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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