I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Randomize
