I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
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