i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
