she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
