Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Moan for me like Helen Keller
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
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