Yo dont text me then not text me
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
bring money and cleavage
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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