Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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