to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
