Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
