I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
