I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
