using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
