I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
