We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Randomize
