I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
