He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
