it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
