there was a trapeze. enough said
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
