And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I have already put on my inside pants.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
