At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
All I want is dick and wine.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
