It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
