I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
