Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
There's always time for handjobs
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Randomize
