If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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