I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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