this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
