No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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