She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
