I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
