guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Randomize
