Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
