You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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