just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
