Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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