come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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